It’s Like A Reward

christmas decorations and gray laptop

Well, it’s here. Almost. Six days from today, many fortunate people around the world roll out of bed to presents and silly Christmas outfits and love. For me, as the year comes to a close, Christmas has been a bit of a finish line. A goal post, if you will.

This year has, as has consistently been the trend lately, been a bit of a ride on the struggle bus. There were highs, absolutely there were highs! Triumphs and core memories and victories hard won but won all the same. I made new friends and found new people to include in the favorites section of my phone’s contacts. And as is part of life, there were failures and attempts that didn’t come to fruition, disappointments and set-backs.

I had a conversation with a co-worker last week where we discussed spiritual wellness. She said that when she is depressed, it is often because she is not doing the things that fulfill her. In this case, she takes some time, makes herself a cup of tea, and engages in self-reflection to find out what part of her is not being nourished.

November 21st I posted that I was getting ‘Back on Track’. That I was renewing my pursuit of my passion – writing – to further my career as an author. Ten days later, I was admitted to the hospital for four days and then on bedrest until the twelfth. I’m back to work but still recuperating and, as you may imagine, my lofty writing goals for the rest of the year were a bit derailed.

My agent, in her infinite kindness and patience, has never rushed me or pressured me. I’ve done that enough for both of us, truth be told. But in 2023 I plan to exercise kindness, forgiveness, and understanding. The reason I started putting my ideas down and creating characters and worlds was not to publish books or make stupid amounts of money – though you wouldn’t have to twist my arm to accept either of those things should they come to be. I started storytelling for the simple fact that I love it. It brings me joy. I need to get back to that core idea. While an end goal is never a bad thing to keep in the back of one’s mind, it shouldn’t be the primary focus, and I lost sight of that.

I have a lot of hope and optimistic dreams going into 2023.

It’s up to me to live up to them.

See you in 2023 and

bye for now!

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